I have been asked this question by several people. It’s not the easiest question to answer for me. It’s not because I grew up in a broken home. It’s not because I myself have been in “the system” as a kid. It’s not because I was even a ward of the state. It’s not because in my days as a Deputy Sheriff I saw the need.
I guess the easiest way to answer this is to tell you a little about myself. Several years ago I lost my mom to cancer. My mom was my best friend and my role model. I am to a T a “momma’s boy” and I wear that like a badge of honor. When my mom passed away there was this overwhelming lost feeling that I could not shake & a hole in my heart that I could not fill. I, unfortunately, turned to a substance to see if that would help and it did, for a while.
Before I knew it all my experience in law enforcement and everything my parents taught me was gone and this substance, for a short while, would make the pain stop and would make that hole feel full again, Before I knew it I was addicted and I didn’t know how to stop. This would continue for years and as this continued the shame and humiliation would grow inside me. The shame and humiliation were so bad at times I thought about ending my life on several occasions.
Fast forward a few years and I find myself at “rock bottom.” Since I pushed my family away I didn’t know where to turn. I was so angry at God I didn’t think He would help me either. My family soon found out and jumped to action. I found myself getting the help I needed. I found out I am not alone in this world and most importantly I found that God had never turned His back on me.
I was introduced to a 12-step fellowship here in Mid Missouri (well actually it’s worldwide) that showed me hope when I was hopeless and helped me with my relationship with God. In all this, I found that there are people in this world who need to know they are not alone. Most importantly it gave me a new love for life and showed me that no matter what I faced it was possible to go through hard times in life without the need for any substance. It showed me how destructive this disease is. I saw first-hand how once this disease enters a family its grip is strong and can span for generations. I have seen parents lose their kids & kids lose their parents to this disease.
After several years in recovery, I was introduced to the Central Missouri Foster Care & Adoption Association. I became a Mentor for a program they had called Transitions. The Transitions program is for teens 16 & 17 years old who are about to age out of the system. While doing the training I heard a heartbreaking statistic that 1 out of every 2 kids who age out of foster care struggle with addiction.
As I started working with my mentees I found this to be true. I had one kid whose mom was currently incarcerated because of her addiction and he kept telling his mom that his Mentor Korey was able to stop using drugs so she could too. As time with this program progressed more times than not these kids shared about their parent’s drug use and how they had also used drugs. I saw this as an opportunity to show these kids they can break the cycle and it can stop with them. Sadly, this program ended in Mid Missouri.
When I heard about CASA I wondered if my personal experience with addiction would be beneficial or a hindrance. I spoke with Nikki Hazelton, who is now my CASA Team Lead. After a while of debate, I applied and started my CASA training. After my appointment by the court, I was given my 1st case. It was a young lady who gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who tested positive for drugs. Since we are in the middle of COVID-19 I was unable to do any face-to-face meetings with the parents, kids, or foster parents.
Turns out my experience with addiction and recovery will benefit me. I am able to relate with the parents’ judgment-free and build a trust that is founded in our joint battle against a disease that is deadly. What I have learned is you never want to judge a book by its first few chapters, there are many pages not yet written and we never know what God’s plan for us really is.
